These are nonfiction books that, for one reason or another (and which I’ll explain in each entry), I think are worth reading by anyone.
The Human Condition
We All Have Relationships
Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself by Nedra Glover Tawwab
This book explains that every relationship you have needs boundaries and provides an understanding of what happens when you don’t set boundaries, different areas where boundaries can and should be set, the psychology around boundaries, common ways people react to you setting boundaries, suggestions of possible boundaries to set if you have no idea where to start, and most importantly, how to set and reinforce your boundaries with others. It doesn’t promise that setting boundaries is going to be easy or comfortable but it does promise it’s both healthy and possible. It’s both an instruction manual for setting boundaries and a permission slip from a real actual therapist that you’re allowed to do so.
We All Spend Time With Other People
The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why It Matters by Priya Parker
Have you considered the power dynamics between guests and host? Does your gathering have a purpose? Did you realize that the event starts the moment guests become aware of the gathering and the host having a “pregame” strategy will make the actual event run smoother? Whether you’re hosting a game night with old friends, a dinner party to introduce new friends to a group, a work meeting to discuss departmental conflicts, or a sit-down with Mom and Dad to discuss their end-of-life plans, this book will explain what to consider, provide steps for making it as successful as possible, illustrate with examples from Priya’s work as a professional gathering facilitator, and set you up for a great interpersonal experience.
We’re All Gonna Die
The Art of Dying Well: A Practical Guide to a Good End of Life by Katy Butler
This is a step-by-step (or more accurately, stage-of-aging-by-stage-of-aging) guide to both the years leading up to your death and the dying process itself. The focus is on what you can do to maintain your functionality and independence as long as possible, how to limit your suffering when the ineveitable becomes immediate, some recommendations for programs, tools, and care, and which medical interventions are worthwhile and which will do more harm than good. Interspersed with all this is invaluable advice about having hard conversations, making sure your doctor and family are clear on what you want, getting paperwork in order, and navigating the American healthcare system. If you or someone you know are going to die one day, you need to read this book.
We Live In A Society
The Negative Consequences of Positive Thinking
Bright-Sided: How the Relentless Promotion of Positive Thinking has Undermined America by Barbara Ehrenreich
Calvinism, the growth of the middle class in the 1800s, the Law of Attraction, and America’s obsession with individualism are all related in the horrible quagmire that is the many ways relentless Positive Thinking has affected America. Positive Thinking isn’t just looking on the bright side or trying to stay optimistic – it’s a combination of magical thinking and self-policing that claims your thoughts can manifest in the real world and blames you for every single bad thing in your life. This book covers a lot of ground to get through all of the nonsense involved in and brought about by Positive Thinking, and it will show you the hidden threads behind much of American society that you’ve never seen before.
Sociologists Agree Your Job is Bullshit
Bullshit Jobs: A Theory by David Graeber
Up to 40% of workers believe that if their job stopped being done, nobody would really notice or care. David Graeber puts together a theory about why. These unnecessary jobs where the worker’s main occupation is looking occupied for eight hours are dubbed “bullshit jobs” (different from “shit jobs,” which are awful to work but actually are important to society). And this theory is thorough – from the history of work to mathematical formulas quantifying the value a given job adds to (or subtracts from) society to a potential solution, this book covers it all. If you think a job where you could goof off most of the day would be great, or if you have a job like that and know from experience it’s not great, you’ll find this book enlightening.
Some People are Just Like That
The Authoritarians by Bob Altemeyer
Anyone who has wondered how Donald Trump won an election and what in the world is going on with his rabid fans has wondered how authoritarians work, whether or not they knew the term. And many strict and conservative religious sects are highly authoritarian by nature. Bob Altemeyer studied authoritarianism for forty years, and The Authoritarians is a comprehensive report of his findings. From social dominance to aggression to the differences between authoritarian leaders and authoritarian followers, Bob Altemeyer explains four decades of research to pick apart how authoritarians act and why they’re like that. Bonus: The ebook is free on Bob Altemeyer’s website.
Racism and What To Do About It
How to Be an Antiracist by Ibram X. Kendi
In some ways this feels like a topical memoir, as the author uses his own journey of experiencing and understanding racism to illustrate the concepts discussed in the book. This book spends a lot of time on definitions, with perspectives on racism and anti-racism are much different than mainstream ideas about race and racial activism. And once Dr. Kendi is positive we’re all on the same page with the ideas, he goes into the practical steps and what we can actually do about racism. This is an immensely valuable book.
A Comprehensive Look at American Misogyny
Backlash: The Undeclared War Against American Women by Susan Faludi
Women’s rights made huge steps forward in the 1970s, and women have been suffering the backlash from it ever since. Sound ridiculous? Susan Faludi has sources. Though this book is focused on the 1980s (with the addition of a preface with updates in the 2006 edition), it’s still incredibly relevant four decades later. Whether you’re trying to figure out what the heck feminists are mad about, looking for sources (scholarly and from interviews) on the ways misogyny presents itself in society, or want to know more about the history of women’s rights, second wave feminism, and how things changed for women in the 70s and 80s, this book has a wealth of information.
Men Don’t Have It So Great Either
Stiffed: The Roots of Modern Male Rage by Susan Faludi
If you read Backlash and asked “What about the men?” Susan Faludi has a book for you, too. Stiffed explores why men these days are so angry. And from everything she talks about in this book, I understand. Even though this book discusses some of the horrible things men do out of their anger, overall it inspired a lot of compassion in me. Susan is vocally a feminist, and this was a balanced book in that it holds a great compassion and understanding for the plight of men in modern society while maintaining that what’s hurting these men is not women getting more rights but a system that is also rigged against them, just in different ways. Though it desperately needs an update for the 2020s, it’s still a fascinating and valuable perspective.
History They Don’t Teach in School
Another Holocaust Narrative: Gay Men
The Men with the Pink Triangle: The True Life-and-Death Story of Homosexuals in the Nazi Death Camps by Heinz Heger
Most classes on the Holocaust focus on the Jewish victims, but they weren’t the only group the Nazis targeted. Heinz Heger, a gay man who spent six years in the Sachsenhausen concentration camp for “degeneracy,” lays out not only the stark horrors of life in a concentration camp, but a remarkable amount about how the camps were run and how non-Jewish prisoners related to each other. Both horrifying and informative, this book offers a first-hand account of life in a concentration camp from one of the many non-Jewish groups the Nazis persecuted and provides an intimate look at part of WWII history and queer history that isn’t often discussed.
How the West was Won, According to the People it was Taken From
Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee: An Indian History of the American West by Dee Brown
From movies to novels to children’s games, everybody knows the romanticized story of how gunslingers and lawmen defended land and resources from the savage Indians and conquered the American West. Or at least, they know the story from the white conqueror’s perspectives. This book was first published in 1970, but these stories, told in the words of the Native Americans who were on the receiving end of the American imperialists’ endless lust for land and resources, tells of the battles, massacres, broken treaties, and outright genocide inflicted on the people who refused to sign away land that had belonged to them for centuries.
The Church Doesn’t Want You To Know This
The Darkening Age: The Christian Destruction of the Classical World by Catherine Nixey
This is a chronicle of how Christian attempts to eradicate “paganism” destroyed the classical world, from art and philosophy to statues and architecture to books and people. Hellenistic polytheism was fully eradicated, along with most documentation (if it existed in the first place) of how the religious system worked. This book covers the historical roots of proud Christian traditions like bigotry, anti-intellectualism, and forcing conformity while calling it love, how the monastic tradition sprung from Christian martyr fantasies, and more. Not only were you never taught this side of Christian history, the church does its best to cover up and rewrite these events so they can pretend they’ve always been the good guys.
Bluejay Reads 